


Not In The Same Way

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Smut, Songfic, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-02-23 08:03:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23641555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Turn right around, throwin' rocks at your window, but I can't forget you, and I always let you..."-or the one where ashton and luke have a complicated and secret relationship.
Relationships: Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 64





	Not In The Same Way

Ashton had no idea what exactly he was thinking when, at 2AM on a Tuesday, he decided to go after _**him**_. He should be sleeping now, like his parents thought he was, or like he told his girlfriend he was going to 2 hours ago when she said good night to him over the phone. But no, he is standing in front of the big baby blue house, which ironically matched exactly with the eyes of its owner. A house he knew too well for his own good, for his own safety.  
  
Maybe he should just walk away, go home and forget whatever he had in mind, but he couldn’t sleep without talking to him, because every fucking time he closed his eyes he could almost see him, _**feel him**_. But worse, he remembered the disgust in his voice and the ugly tears falling from his eyes after what happened early that day. It was too much for Ashton to do nothing. It’s been almost 3 months since their ugly, dirty thing started. It’s been 3 months since Ashton’s been acting like a fucking coward. He hated himself for all of this, but he couldn’t help it, they’re too good at this game.

  
_3 months before…_

  
_\- You know this is bullshit Ashton, you’re just protecting your little fag friend._

_Ashton was about to walk away from the field when he heard it coming from the mouth of one of his teammates, Zack, and immediately all his blood started to boil, he closed his eyes and turned to where the boy was, his vision blurred with angriness, unable to even focus on the tall blond boy next to him, Luke, with pleading blue eyes._

  
_\- What the fuck did you just say? – Ashton growled walking towards the brunette in front of him, index finger poking Zack harshly on the chest – Call him that again and you’re dead._

  
_\- Call him what? A fag? – Zack’s voice was loud and filled with malice while his eyes were dark and glued in the blond boy now awkwardly standing behind Ashton._

  
_Before any of the three boys could process exactly what was happening, Ashton's fist hit the boy's cheek, causing him to fall to the floor with Ashton on top of him. A scream that came from Luke echoed through the field, some of the boys from the team are closer now with wide eyes seeing their captain on top of one of their best teammates, who by now had a bleeding nose._

  
_\- Stop! Please, Ashton! – A sob left Luke’s mouth, his hands trying to grab Ashton by the shoulders, but it was no secret that he was weaker compared to the older boy, he had long and slim limbs while Ashton had big muscles._

  
_Luke had no intention for this to happen when he started to argue with Zack in the middle of practice, but the boy was being a pain in the ass, calling Luke names for every little mistake the blond accidentally made and recusing to pass the ball to Luke, even though he was free. So after about 20 minutes of that, the blond couldn’t take it anymore and confronted Zack, only for Ashton to come see what was happening and take Luke’s side._

  
_\- Irwin! Smith! – Coach’s voice came loud behind him, the old man, whose hair was gray and thin, walked straight to the both boys still fighting on the floor, and soon Luke felt him being put by the side by his teammate and best friend, Calum. –You two, stop right now! What the hell?_

  
_He didn’t see the moment that Coach Williams and Clifford separated both boys and the way Ashton spit blood on the lawn, red as the team’s official color. Calum had taken him away, one of his hands on Luke’s left arm._

  
_“Hey, are you okay?” - His eyes that were fixed on the blond looking especially concerned at the moment. Luke had no idea why his best friend was worried at him, when their captain just fought with another teammate._

  
_Because of him._

  
_The realization made Luke’s body fill with goosebumps; it was no secret to the boy that he had a crush on Ashton, even though it was a secret to everyone else. Even to his best friend._

  
_Luke always knew he was gay, but he never really thought about it until high school, when he faced the realization that life being an open gay boy is harder, especially when you’re a part of the school’s football team. So Luke did his best to hide it, from his friends, from his family and of course, from his teammates._

  
_But somehow they always suspected it, doing stupid jokes that most of the times ended with Calum telling them to shut the fuck up and Ashton to look at him apologetically, but today it was different. Zack’s intention was to hurt Luke. To offend him. And being the silly boy Luke was it made him happy that Ashton was the one to defend him this time._

  
_This was stupid because Ashton was straight and dated one of the “hottest” girls in school, according to Calum. The captain of the football team and the hot cheerleader, they’re the perfect couple and Luke knew that. So it was stupid of him to feel butterflies filling his stomach at the thought of the captain._

  
_\- Luke, are you listening to me? - Calum spoke taking him out of his thoughts. - I asked if you’re okay._

  
_\- Hum, yeah, sorry - He answered, his eyes going back to where he was before seeing that Coach was leaving with Zack, probably to the nursery, while everyone else seemed to have left. - Where is everybody?_

  
_\- Wow, you really zoned out, huh? Coach told them to go back to the locker room, practice is over - The small said, smiling at his friend a little. - We should go too, c’mon!_

  
_\- Wait. Where’s Irwin? Do you think he got in trouble because of me?_

  
_\- Nah, I don’t think Coach is going to tell the principal about this, he can’t have his captain and best player in trouble specially with the big game coming in. - Calum answered making Luke nod at him, he was right. Coach wouldn’t do that. - I guess he is waiting for Coach in his office._

  
_\- Yeah, you’re probably right. Hum, I have to go. Okay?_

  
_\- Where are you going? - The tan boy asked a little confused to why Luke was leaving to the opposite direction._

_\- I need to do something! I’ll call you later, right? Bye Cal._

  
_And with that Luke left the field without waiting for his best friend to answer him. He really needed to thank Ashton after all._

  
_When he finally arrived at the Coach’s office, the door was close and he could hear the loud voice of Coach Williams, he sounded pissed off, which made Luke almost regret coming here in the first place, but he couldn’t leave without talking with the older boy._

  
_So he sat in one of the chairs in front of the wood door of the office, fingers tabbing on his thighs nervously, and waited. After almost 15 minutes of him almost dying of boredom and anxiety, the office’s door finally opened and a very messy Ashton walked out of it, his honey curly hair was all over the place, his football uniform dirty, he had a cut on his lower lip and his hazel eyes fixed on Luke._

  
_Luke shuddered at the view, but quickly got up, walking towards Ashton._

  
_\- Hey, er, I wanted to talk to you. - He almost groaned at his awkwardness, hand caressing the back of his neck nervously._

_\- Okay... - Ashton answered in a way to tell Luke to just talk already, both boys walking side by side now._

  
_\- Thank you, for what you did back in the field. - The taller boy spoke, his gaze focused on Ashton’s lower lip. - You know, I could handle it on my own, though._

  
_Ashton laughed, hard. Like what Luke just told him was pure comedy, which made the blond frown his eyebrows at him, letting an offended sound leave his lips._

  
_\- Right, Hemmings... - Ashton said still laughing a little, one of his hands touching Luke’s shoulder. - Anyway, it doesn’t matter. You don’t need to thank me, Zack was being an asshole. I’m sorry for what he said._

  
_\- It’s okay, I don’t care. And yes I need to thank you; you’re probably in trouble because of me._

  
_They entered the locker room, and Luke noticed that probably all of his teammates left by now. The room was empty._

  
_\- Nah, not really. Coach said I just had to collect the equipment and then close the field for him today, because he had some important shit to do. - Ashton explained, gesturing with his hands while doing so._

_\- Okay. I can help you with that, then._

  
_\- You don’t need to, you know? It’s okay, Hemmings. Really. - Ashton smiled at the blond; his dimples in full display making the blond’s heart beat a little faster._

  
_\- I want to._

  
_\- If you say so, c’mon let’s go._

  
_An hour later both boys entered the locker room again, both sweaty and breathless, they had just finished doing what Coach asked. As soon as they entered the room, Ashton found his way towards one of benches, sitting on it, his back to the locker behind him._

  
_His eyes focused on the floor, while Luke shyly sat down next to him. One leg on each side of the bench, in a way that made him look straight at Ashton._

  
_The older boy could feel Luke’s eyes on him, on his exposed chest since Ashton thought it was a good idea to take his shirt off at some point while they collected the stuff along the field._

  
_Ashton couldn’t help the small grin that formed on his face; it wasn’t the first time he felt Luke's eyes on him, checking him out. And it makes him feel weirdly good. It was something different, maybe he liked the attention._ _So he slowly turned his head to the taller boy who had a slightly open mouth, his eyes going from Ashton’s chest to Ashton’s face in a second, he swallowed hard knowing he had just got caught._

  
_\- Like what you see? - Ashton spoke, his injured lip miserably caught in between his teeth._

  
_If it was in any other moment the hazel eyed boy would laugh at the way Luke’s eyes grew 3 times bigger at Ashton’s words, mouth open, trying to say something. But right now it looked fucking hot, seeing his covered chest rise and fall._

  
_\- I don’t mind, you know. - He licked his lips, before speaking again in a low tone - It’s hot, having a cute boy looking at me like that._

  
_In his own mind Ashton said that to mess a little with Luke, just to see the boy’s reaction. But fuck, when he heard the little whine that left Luke’s pink lips, and the way the blond sucked on his lip piercing, he couldn’t help but get closer to Luke. His hands travelling to one of the boy’s thighs without thinking too much._

  
_\- Wh-at are you doing? – The younger one asked, his eyes fixed on the way Ashton’s big hand caressed his right thigh._

  
_\- Do you like when I get close to you? – His hand going up at each word coming out his mouth. – Do you like feeling my touch?_

  
_\- Ashton stop! – Luke whispered in no way harshly so Ashton just stopped moving his hand, not letting go yet, his fingers gracing Luke’s inner thigh deliciously._

  
_\- Or what? What are you gonna do, huh?_

  
_The blond didn’t say anything, his eyes going straight to Ashton’s lips that at this point are dangerously close from his, and he could feel the older boy’s breath hitting his own mouth. He had no fucking idea of what was happening, but Luke couldn’t say no to Ashton. He wanted this for so long. Maybe it was a joke, a prank, but at this point Luke couldn’t care to give a shit anymore._

  
_\- I kinda like your piercing, what does it taste like? – The words came low and hotly off Ashton’s mouth._

  
_\- Why don’t you taste yourself?_

  
_And then their lips met, hard enough for Ashton to let a low moan escape because of his injured lip being in contact with Luke’s. His free hand coming to grab the blond boy by his neck, pulling him closer, making his naked chest brush against Luke’s covered one while his tongue played lazily with the boy’s lip piercing._ _Luke moaned into the kiss, his arms on both sides of Ashton’s neck, one of his hands grabbing a fist of the curls in the older boy’s head harshly. Soon both of their tongues also clashed together, exploring each other’s mouth in a way that made Luke shudder in delight. Ashton's taste was too fucking good and combined with his touch it could make Luke forget everything else._

  
_Soon enough it became too much, and both boys parted from each other, both of them breathless and hot. Ashton's was the first to open his eyes wide when the realization of what he and his teammate just did got into him._

  
_They kissed, and it was good._

  
_\- I didn’t think you would actually come taste it – Luke was the first to break the silence, his eyes soft and a grin making its way to his face._

  
_\- Wait- Were you joking?_

  
_\- I was, I mean, I- no, a little... Ok I was serious but I didn’t think you would... Kiss me? – Ashton smiled at Luke’s awkwardness, it was kinda cute._

  
_\- Well… Did you like it? – The older one asked touching Luke’s forehead with his, a naughty smile on his lips, his gaze splitting between his teammate's blue eyes and his mouth, now red and swollen._

  
_\- Maybe I have to prove it again... You know... I was a bit in shock so-_

  
_Luke had no time to finish his sentence because Ashton smashed their lips together again, this time harder than before. Both of his hands coming to grab Luke by his thigh and in a quick move making the blond boy sit on his lap._

  
_The sudden friction between their hips made Luke groan into the kiss and Ashton let out a strangled moan in response. Their bodies glued together in a lustful way, while the older boy’s hand travelled along Luke’s body, starting on his arms making his way to the boy’s bum, his strong hands squeezing each ass cheek with want._

  
_\- Fuck, Hemmings. – Ashton moaned feeling the abundant flesh of the younger boy on his palm, mouth locking in Luke’s neck starting to left open mouthed kisses on the pale skin, the salty taste of the skin that normally would be bad making everything more raw and delicious for Ashton. Luke was going to be the death of him. - And now? You like that?_

  
_Luke opened his eyes to look at Ashton who had his head up, looking at him with a grin. The blond travelled his gaze slowly to his hardening covered cock and then to Ashton, seeing how the older boy did the same path as him, his hazel eyes now dark with lust._

  
_\- I guess so, but why are you doing this?_

  
_\- I don’t know. - Ashton answered before kissing one of Luke’s shoulders. - I just wanted it. I wanted to taste you._

  
_\- Oh, ok... And what about your-_

  
_\- Luke, I want you. I want more of you. Please let me have you._

  
_Hearing those words lefting Ashton’s mouth was enough for the blond to just give up on his little interrogatory and catch the boy’s lips with his again. Hands touching the boy’s chest, his thin nails scratching the tanned skin with just the exactly amount of pressure to be pleasurable for Ashton._

  
_\- You’re so hot, Ash..._

  
_His lips now attacking Ashton’s jawline and neck in a silent search for the older boy's sweet spot, when Luke finally found it, he sucked on the skin making Ashton tighten his hold on Luke's hips, involuntarily starting to move Luke’s hips against his crotch sinfully._

  
_Soon the locker room’s air became hot and the only sounds that had been filling the place were of both boys moaning in each other’s body, clothes making their way to the dirty floor. Hands dancing between them._

  
_Skin on skin, wet lips touching… The beginning of something that would change everything._

  
…

  
Ashton took a deep breath, his thoughts now back in the present, he needed to talk to Luke but the boy didn’t answered any of his calls after what happened, and Ashton couldn’t really blame the blond, he really screwed things up this time.

  
He then began to search the ground for small rocks, after collecting 3 ones that he thought were not too heavy, because he couldn’t risk breaking the blond boy’s window of course; he took a step back and threw the first rock that pathetically hit the wall. Not even close to Luke's window. He groaned, one hand come to fist his hair in frustration.  
He then threw the next one, this time hitting the thick glass perfectly. A small victorious smile formed on his face. By the time the third rock hit the window Luke’s bedroom light had already been turned on, indicating that the boy had woken up. So Ashton waited, knowing that at any moment he would see the silhouette of the blond boy coming to the window.

  
And of course Luke knew who it was, he had seen the last 5 missed calls and the 2 texts that Ashton had sent to him. He could just not answer it and act like he was sleeping but he knew Ashton too well, and how insistent the older one could be.

  
\- What are you doing here, Ashton? It’s almost 3AM. – Luke spoke loud enough for just Ashton to hear, the same second he opened his window, his bare chest shivering when got in contact with the cold night air.

\- We need to talk, please let me come in. – Ashton answered licking his lips nervously.

  
\- There’s nothing to talk about. – The blond closed his eyes, his throat tightening when remembering what happened. He couldn’t cry again, he doubted he even had tears left on his body to do so after all. – I heard enough to know enough.

  
_A few hours before..._

  
_It’s been almost 3 months since the first time Luke and Ashton made out in the locker room and even though Ashton said to himself it was going to be a one-time thing, justifying it saying that he left his curiosity and hormones take the best of him, both boys found themselves crawling back to each other. The second time it was Luke who initiate things, the third Ashton… When it came to the fourth time, none of the boys had any idea of who started it; they just had this crave for each other._

  
_They’ve been hiding this thing between them very well; or at least it was what Ashton thought._

  
_That afternoon he was alone in the locker room after practice with one of his teammates and good friend, Michael, when the boy spoke up:_

  
_\- Hey Ash, what’s happening between you and the blond boy? – The boy, whose hair was a bright red spoke, and even though it was a question his voice was filled with accusation._

  
_\- What?_

  
_\- You know. You and Hemmings. – Ashton had to fight his own instinct to not wide his eyes, his mouth suddenly dry - You two share a lot of looks, it’s kinda obvious._

  
_\- I don’t know what you’re talking about… - The captain answered, his eyes fixed on the floor, not daring to look at his friend. He couldn’t believe this was happening, he thought they’re being subtle with their thing._

  
_Nobody could know about him and Luke. What if his girlfriend found out? He couldn’t let that happen._

  
_\- Of course you know. Hey, I didn’t know you liked it... You know, dick. – And then the red haired laughed, hard, seeing the way Ashton’s face turned into a frown when he heard the last word._

  
_\- Shut up, you’re crazy._

  
_\- Oh okay, right. Maybe I am. – Michael said, his tone filled with sarcasm._

  
_Ashton took a deep breath, turning his head to finally look at Michael in the eyes, he was angry at Michael for suspecting him, angry at Luke for making him the way he is now but mostly he was mad at himself._

  
_\- I don’t like... Boys. I am in fact straight; I have a girlfriend, a hot girlfriend._

  
_\- Hey, you don’t need to prove me anything, you know – The paler boy said, hands coming to touch Ashton’s shoulder - I am straight but I sure think Luke is a good looking boy._

  
_Ashton shuddered making Michael’s hand fall from his shoulder. He already told he was straight, is his friend deaf or something?_

  
_\- Didn’t you just listen what I just said? Besides, I would never trade my girlfriend over some boy like Luke, even if I wasn’t straight. – The phrase coming out of his mouth in a weird way, like it burned his tongue at each word - I am perfectly content with my girlfriend though, so fuck off, if you think Luke is cute then go fuck him._

  
_\- Hey, alright, sorry mate, maybe it’s just him that has a crush on you then. I thought maybe you reciprocate – Michael said, hands on the air in defeat. – Guess I was wrong._

  
_\- Yes. – Ashton said, before turning his back to Michael, taking his dirty t-shirt off - I would never want to have anything to do with a guy like him._

  
_Both boys finished changing clothes in silence, Ashton’s body shaking a little with the adrenaline of almost being discovered. He heard Michael footsteps indicating that he was leaving, but what caught his attention was that the boy greeted someone before leaving, or more like the small broken voice that answered his friend._

  
_A voice he knew too well._

  
_He turned his whole body in a split second, hazel meeting blue, but what made his heart skip a beat was the way the blond was looking at him, his eyes red and puffy._

  
_\- L-Luke?_

  
_\- So you wouldn’t want anything to do with me, huh? – He heard the boy in front of him whisper, his voice a mixture of disappointment, sadness and angriness that made Ashton’s eyes go wider. He had heard it._

  
_\- No, Luke, you don’t understand, it’s not what you think-_

  
_\- Save it._

  
_And before the curly haired boy could say anything else Luke was running out of the locker room, letting Ashton alone with his mouth open._

  
_\- Fuck! – Ashton groaned loudly before punching the locker in front of him in frustration. – Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

  
_…_

  
\- Please babe, let me explain… - Ashton spoke again, his gaze focused on the pale body who was almost shining in the moonlight, making Ashton’s stomach twist in a weird away at the breathtaking view – Please.

  
\- Fine – Luke agreed. – But if you really want to talk you need to get up here on your own.

  
Ashton only smiled, biting his bottom lip before slowly nodding his head.

  
Luke walked away from the window, sitting down on his bed, his eyes hovering over the bottle of Xanax sitting in his nightstand; he had taken 2 pills to try to sleep early that night but it was useless. It couldn’t help the weird feeling that crept into him every time he remembered the painful words of the boy he was in love with.

  
When things started it was a fact that the blond already had a thing for the captain of his team, but his feelings started to get more real at every kiss, every touch and every night that Luke and Ashton would met and drink all night, together, sometimes they would fuck, sometimes they would talk but they would never sleep.

  
And it was in one of these nights at the back sit of Ashton’s car that Luke realized his true feelings for Ashton. He could remember vividly the way their bodies were glued with each other, hot and sweaty, Ashton thrusting into him hard making him moan into the messy kiss they shared. When suddenly Ashton pulled away from the kiss whispering to him to open his eyes, their foreheads touching and the older boy smiled at him, for not even a second stopping his movements, making it hard for Luke to do something besides stare back, and when both of them came looking straight at each other’s eyes, he knew he loved Ashton.

  
He didn’t even heard when the boy went up through the window, entering his room and sitting beside him on the bed. Only acknowledging Ashton's presence when the boy touched his knee, getting his attention.

  
Luke quickly moved his knee away from Ashton’s touch, as if his touch could burn him. And maybe it could.

  
\- Luke, I know that what you heard me say was terrible, but you need to believe me, I didn’t mean it… - The older boy spoke, his head turned to Luke, who had his gaze to his hands resting on his lap. - I was scared; Michael caught me off guard asking questions about us.

  
The blond refused to look at him so he grabbed Luke’s chin firmly turning his head in Ashton's direction, his blue eyes now wet, making it look even more like the ocean.

  
And God, for a slip second Ashton felt like he could dive deep down into it if Luke asked him.

  
\- He was acting like he knew what was happening between us and I had to talk him out of it… - He kept talking, his thumb gently caressing the boy’s jawline feeling the small amount of unshaved beard scratch his skin. - I know I fucked it up, I shouldn’t have said that, baby- hey look at me.

  
Luke took a deep breath before doing what was asked, making him shiver at the amount of feeling he saw in Ashton’s hazel eyes. – I want you.

The older brought him even closer, their noses touching and Luke saw the moment where the boy in front of him closed his eyes before mouthing the next words. – I think I love you.

  
\- W-what? – The blond couldn’t believe what he just heard, he probably heard it wrong. – Ashton, please. Don’t say that.

  
\- I love you, Luke – Ashton repeated this time a little loudly and making their lips brush. – Fuck, I’m crazy about you.

  
\- I don’t know if I can believe that, Ashton…

  
\- Let me prove to you, then. – He looked at the blond in a way to silently ask for his permission.

  
And when Luke closed his eyes and shifted closer to him, Ashton slowly and tenderly pecked Luke’s lips just enough to taste him, feeling the cold metal of the boy’s lip piercing against his mouth for a slip second before pulling away.

  
\- You’re so beautiful, babe. – The older whispered, his breath hitting Luke’s face, who let a small whine leave his lips. Ashton’s thumb that before was gently caressing the blond’s face, now touching his pink bottom lip, opening Luke’s mouth slightly. – I need you.

  
\- Fuck, me too. – Luke said, and then Ashton closed the gap between them again, kissing the younger boy harder, taking him by surprise.

  
One of Luke’s hands going straight to Ashton’s hair, pulling it in the roughly way he knew Ashton liked while they shared a messy and wet kiss. Ashton’s tongue fighting for dominance, which Luke happily gave him. The older boy’s hands that before were on Luke’s cheek now making its way all over the boy's pale collarbone and chest, squeezing in some places making the skin a soft red.

  
Luke moaned in the kiss when the palm of Ashton’s hand brushed close to his left nipple, which made Ashton smirk. After these 3 months both boys already knew each other’s body, what they liked and especially where to touch to make the other one weak and crazy with want. So when Ashton started circling Luke’s nipple with his index finger it was no surprise for him to hear the delicious little sounds leaving the blond.

  
Then his free hand is grabbing Luke by his hip indicating him to sit on his lap, the blond wasted no time in doing what was told.

  
\- You have no idea how much I want you Luke, in any way possible. - Ashton almost groaned his words when feeling the boy’s bum against him. - I want to show you, I want to have you, even if it’s just for tonight.

  
Luke pulled on the older boy’s hair making him look straight at Luke. His mouth a little open feeling the way the blond moved his hips back and forth in a torturously slow way. All of Ashton’s words making Luke feel confident and brave.

  
He smiled at Ashton, in the kinkiest way Ashton ever saw before answering:

  
\- Then stop with the talk, and do it.

  
Ashton smirked in a way that said “challenge accepted” before starting to kiss and suck on the boy’s neck, his hands cupping Luke’s ass, slowly guiding the boy’s movements, the friction almost too good making Luke close his eyes in pleasure, his head tilting to the side to give the older boy’s lips more access.

  
And fuck, Ashton loved the soft flesh of the boy’s bum; he really wished the thick material of the blond’s sweatpants wasn’t in the way of his palm.

\- I love having you on my lap... - Ashton spoke between open mouthed kisses on Luke’s collarbone and shoulder. - Riding me so good, even with our clothes on.

  
The blond only moaned in response, too focused on the pleasure the older boy was giving him by grinding their hips together. Guiding his hands all the way to the hem of Ashton’s white shirt, pushing it up his chest and soon the piece of cloth got its way towards the floor. Their naked chest now glued together, Luke’s nails scratching Ashton’s back playfully but hard enough to make the older one groan against the boy’s skin.

  
\- I want you to know the things you make me feel, Luke. Only you can make me feel this way.

  
\- Tell me then... - The blond whispered, one of his hands going all the way to Ashton’s hair in a fist, pulling it. - Or even better, show me Ash. Show me how I make you feel.

  
In a quickly movement Ashton turned them around making the blond fall in his bed, back hitting the mattress. Ashton hovered over him, one of his legs between Luke’s. They’re kissing again now, even hotter than before. Ashton started moving his hips again, this time a little faster but not enough for the blond boy, whose hands are on Ashton’s bum, guiding his movements, silently begging him to go even faster. Their covered dicks rubbing against each other in a lustful way. Luke’s mouth forming an O’s shape. His head back against the pillow.

  
\- I wanna fuck you so bad, babe... - Ashton said in a low tone, his mouth sucking on Luke’s bottom lip.

  
\- Do it, please - Luke moaned, his hands going all the way down to Ashton’s sweatpants pushing it down, breaking the kiss just to look straight at Ashton’s eyes before saying the next words. - Fuck me.

  
Soon both boys were left in only boxers, Ashton’s lips starting to kiss Luke’s chest hair, then the space between the boy’s nipples, his hazel eyes glued on Luke’s face, the way the boy’s face changed at each touch, each kiss. But nothing could be sexier than the strangled moan that left Luke’s lips when the tip of Ashton’s tongue touched his left nipple, circling before starting to suck on it.

  
His eyes never leaving Luke while doing so.

  
\- I love how I can make you moan so pretty just by touching you, having my mouth all over you...

  
Luke moaned Ashton’s name in response, hands guiding Ashton to go further down, which he gladly did. His big hands on each side of the waistband of the boy’s black boxers, slowly taking it off, the blond now fully exposed to him.

  
And fuck, Ashton couldn’t help the way his mouth watered at the scene in front of him. Luke’s rock hard member now free, pink head already leaking pre-cum against the boy’s lower stomach, his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes on Ashton.

  
\- You’re prettier like this, no clothes, all hard up because of me. - The older said while taking his own boxers off.

  
They’re back at their original position, Ashton on top of Luke, but now their free members against each other, and fuck; it was too much for Luke. He loved the way their skin felt against each other and he could feel the pleasure consuming his whole body every time their cocks rubbed.

  
\- Don’t make me come before fucking me, please.

  
\- I won’t babe, I will take care of you like you deserve. – Ashton answered, one of his hands moving the hair off the boy's sweaty forehead below him in a gently way. - I wanna give you everything I can tonight.

  
The older one started to kiss Luke’s skin again, taking his time, worshipping every inch of the boy’s body. Ashton’s hands touching where his mouth couldn’t reach. Eyes never leaving Luke’s face, not even for a moment. He loved seeing Luke like this, a moaning mess while he’s leaving his mark on the boy in every bite, every kiss. Showing how much Luke was his.

  
\- You’re perfect. – Ashton said, his breath hitting the base of Luke’s cock, making the boy groan in response, hands coming to hold on his captain’s hair again. – Every part of you.

  
And then the older boy’s tongue is swirling the tip of Luke’s cock teasingly, before leaving a small kiss on top of it, the blond squirming slightly underneath him.

  
\- Please, Ash-fuck oh my God – Luke cried out a little louder than he should when suddenly he felt Ashton’s running the tip of his tongue around the rim of his hole. – Please, please.

  
Ashton laughed a little at Luke’s desperation before moving away from the blond, just to grab the small bottle of lube he knew Luke kept under his bed. When he returned to his previous position, he can't help but notice how fucking beautiful the pale boy looked, already looking so fucked up, his dirty blond hair a mess, hands holding his baby pink sheets in a fist, long legs spread apart only for Ashton. The vision making his dick twitch against his stomach.

  
\- Are you ready, babe? – Ashton asked softly, diving three of his fingers in the bottle, he saw the nod Luke gave him, and the way he mouthed a small “please”.

  
His middle finger now doing the same path his tongue was making a few minutes ago, before so slowly entering the boy. The blond’s head hitting the pillow behind him, mouth open. Just proving for Ashton that every fucking time he thought the boy couldn’t look more sinfully beautiful he was wrong, because Luke would do something so simple like express his pleasure and Ashton’s head would spin.

  
Soon Luke was already begging for Ashton to add another finger, wishing so bad to get ready for Ashton to enter him and make him full. The older one did what was told, giving a little time for the blond to adjust before scissoring the boy’s hole, stretching him to take Ashton’s cock.

  
And when Ashton intentionally brushed his fingers in Luke’s prostate the blond arched his back – Ash you’re gonna make me come- please.

  
\- Hold it babe. I wanna fuck you so good, can you wait for me? – The boy groaned back before starting to kiss the blond’s thighs, desiring to make the white skin purple, adding a third finger while doing so.

  
\- Fuck me then, now, I want you. - Luke cried, pulling the older boy by the neck, his mouth finding Ashton’s. - Kiss me Ashton, touch me, love me like you say you do.

  
Ashton could only nod at the boy’s request before reaching out Luke’s nightstand, opening the drawer and looking for a condom, his lips never leaving Luke's mouth.  
\- Ash, please. – Luke moaned when the older one removed his fingers from inside him feeling empty.

  
\- I love your begging for me love, but I won’t make you wait this time… - He answered the desperate boy, moving away just enough to put the condom on his until now neglected cock, before covering it with lots of lube just in case. - I can’t fucking wait to be inside you.

  
Ashton positioned himself, the tip of his cock at Luke's entrance, which already made the boy left a small whine and then started to very slowly enter the blond, feeling Luke’s walls closing around him.

  
\- Fuck Luke, you’re so tight - Ashton moaned almost delirious with the feeling of being finally inside Luke, how could he even live before knowing the way Luke felt around him, he had no fucking idea. But he couldn’t lose that. – So fucking tight, babe.

  
Luke only groaned in response, legs wrapping around Ashton’s waist, his heels against the boy’s inner back making Ashton go deeper, now all the way inside him. The older one moaned but stayed still waiting for Luke to get comfortable with his size. Then he captured Luke’s lips again in a slow kiss, tongues moving in a sensual way, his thumb caressing the blond’s jawline.

  
\- You can move now.

  
The older one wasted no time starting thrusting into Luke, slowly, throwing his head back at the feeling. – Oh my God, Luke, you feel so good.

  
\- You-you too… - The blond groaned, hands grabbing Ashton’s ass. – Faster, please.

  
Ashton's movements then started to be faster, creating a steady rhythm with skill, his tongue travelling along Luke’s already purple neck; he would probably have trouble hiding the marks that Ashton had left on him tomorrow.

  
\- How can you be this hot, Ash, fuck- oh my God - he was interrupted when Ashton's dick hit his prostate fully – Fuck. Do that again.

  
So he did it again, again, again and again. Not losing the boy’s most pleasurable point even once, Luke’s body already trembling underneath him. - Fucking big inside me Ash, you’re so big- feels so big.

  
\- You like it babe? You like me filling you up? – Ashton moaned in Luke’s ear before biting on his lobe, thrusting even harder making the younger let a high-pitched moan.

  
\- Fuck, ye- ah, yes, love it – Tears are falling along the blond’s pretty face now, making Ashton go even crazier. His hands going all the way down at Luke’s cock starting to work him up and down at the same rate that he was fucking into the boy.

  
\- I love it too, I love everything about you.

  
They’re kissing again now, or at least trying since Luke couldn’t keep the sounds from leaving his mouth like a prayer for Ashton. One of the younger boy’s hand pulling Ashton’s hair roughly and his other hand scratching the tan skin of Ashton’s back.

  
\- How do I make you feel Ashton? – Luke spoke, his voice crackling a little - You wanted to talk, so talk. Tell me.

  
\- Fuck, Luke. – The boy moaned feeling Luke’s walls starting to contract around his cock. – So good babe, you’re the best.

  
\- Y-you too. – Luke could feel he was close; Ashton pounding into him while his hands worked him up was too much for him. – I’m close, fuck. Let me come, please Ash. – The boy cried out. – Please, please, please…

  
\- Ye-yeah, I’m close too. Come for me babe. – Ashton said before speeding up even more and thrusting even harder making they both come right after.

  
They came staring right into each other’s eyes, moaning each other’s names while doing so. Ashton slowly stopped his movements, kissing the boy underneath him roughly.

  
After Ashton lazily discarded the used condom in the trash beside Luke’s bed, he collapsed next to the blond, who still had his breathing a little uncontrolled, eyes closed making Ashton smile at the view, his index finger drawing random things in the boy’s pale stomach making goosebumps show up in his skin.

  
The only sound being heard was from their strong breathing and the small raindrops hitting the window glass. Both boys so focused on each other that none of them saw when the sky suddenly changed and the rain started to fall down.

  
\- You believe in me now? – Ashton spoke after a moment, his voice husky.

  
\- No. – Luke replied, moving away from the boy next to him making Ashton’s hand leave his body and fall in the mattress.

  
The older one frowned his eyebrows seeing the blond getting out of bed and starting to get dressed again.

  
\- What? Bu-but I thought-

  
\- Well, you thought wrong. – Luke shrugged, hands combing his hair within his hands before entering the small bathroom connected with his room.

  
He focused his gaze in the mirror, begging at his own reflection to be strong and not let this boy rip his heart. In seconds he heard Ashton approaching the door, so he turned his gaze to the boy now in sweatpants in front of him, a confused expression on his beautiful face.

  
\- Tell me what I did wrong. You can’t just walk away from me Luke.

  
\- You did nothing wrong Ashton, we just fucked, do you think that’s enough? – Luke stated, his voice low but firm, looking straight at Ashton’s eyes, hands holding the sink in a fist in a way to control himself. – Do you really think sex is going to fix things?

  
Luke let an ironic and weak laugh escape his lips at his own words before looking away from Ashton.

  
\- I- I don’t get it Luke, what do I need to do to make you believe in me? – The older asked while walking towards the blond, stopping behind him, his naked chest barely brushing against Luke's back.

  
\- I want you to not be ashamed of me, of us, to not be ashamed of who you are.

  
\- Luke... You know it’s complicated... Besides, I have a girlfriend.

  
Luke let a scoff before turning around so he could face Ashton, their bodies millimeters apart. He was angry, his normally baby blue eyes now a dark blue, filled with irritation that made Ashton gulp nervously.

  
\- No! You’re complicated! You’re going to continue to lie to your girlfriend… - His index finger pointing at Ashton’s chest harshly. - You lie to me! And you say you love me but you don’t, you’re fucking crazy.

  
\- For fuck’s sake, I DO love you Luke! – Ashton argued, his voice louder than normal, one of his hands grabbing Luke’s finger making him hold his hand. – I’m not lying to you.

  
Luke let out a miserable chuckle shaking his head before harshly taking his hands off Ashton’s hold.

  
\- You’re a psycho. I can’t believe I let you touch me.

  
\- Luke please… - Ashton tried to say, his hands holding Luke by the shoulder to prevent him from try to get away.

  
\- No! I don’t want to hear your bullshit of an excuse! – He said, his small hands fisting his own hair in frustration - You’re so fucking selfish! You don’t think about me, and worse you don’t even think about the girl you’ve been cheating for 3 months.

  
Luke was sobbing now, unable to hold back the tears anymore, his hands letting the hold on his hair to now push Ashton's chest in anger making the shorter boy stagger, his back hitting against the bathroom’s cold tile hard.

  
\- I don’t want to see you anymore! Get out, now. – Luke spoke, his left arm pointing at the door but his gaze still on the floor, he couldn’t look at Ashton. – And don’t look for me anymore

  
\- No.

  
\- What? - His eyes turning back to the older boy who still had his back against the wall, an indescribable expression on his face.

  
\- No, I won’t go. – Ashton said softly, very different from the tone Luke was using at the moment, making the blond’s body shiver for a split second but he quickly composed himself.

  
\- Fucking get out of my house you son of a bitch!

  
\- Luke, please, let’s just talk. – He replied, approaching the boy in front of him cautiously. – I love you, I can’t let you go.

  
Ashton couldn't leave, he didn't want to leave. But he also didn't want to lie to Luke, he didn't know if he would ever have the courage to be who Luke wanted him to be. Every fucking day of his life since the first time they kissed in the locker room Ashton woke up thinking about his mistakes, and the shit of a man that he was.

  
He was sick of this, of the lying and the sadness. Sick of having the boy he loved crying in front of him because Ashton was a fucking coward and couldn’t just do what his whole freaking body craved, what his mind and heart craved. They craved for Luke.

  
\- Talk about what? – Luke asked his voice now lower and steady - You love me? Ok good, you may love me, but not in the same way- not in the same way that I love you-

  
\- I do-

  
\- Let me fucking finish Ashton, please – He said making the older one close his mouth and mutter a small “sorry” – And it fucking makes my heart bleed when I realize that I would come out for you, to be with you, but you won’t do the same for me. You’re ashamed of me, Ashton- And don’t fucking dare say you’re not. - He raised his finger to Ashton when the boy threatened to interrupt him again. – Because I know you are, I can feel it every fucking time we are close and someone sees us and you act like we’re nothing, like I’m nothing. You even said that if they wanted they could fuck me, didn’t you? So don’t say you love me the same way I love you, because that’s bullshit.

  
Ashton let out a deep breath, rubbing his hands over his face, the words from the younger boy hitting him straight.

  
\- I’m sorry, okay? – He started. His own eyes now fighting not to water up, Ashton wasn’t used to cry so he wouldn’t. – I’m sorry that I am not as brave as you are Luke, I’m sorry that I am scared, because before you I never imagined that I could like a boy. 3 months ago I was sure that I was straight, but then we kissed and it was like a hurricane messing everything inside of me, after that I was no longer sure of who I was, I’m still not sure. The only thing I’m sure is that I can’t lose you and that I’m fucking scared. I’m scared to lose you but I’m also scared to be with you. Fuck, I’m sorry.

  
Ashton had his hands pulling his own hair while the blond studied him from where he was, mouth a little open trying to absorb everything the older had said to him.

  
\- Ashton…

  
\- You’re right! I should go. – Before Luke could respond him he was walking out of the bathroom door, so the blond quickly held him by the wrist.

  
\- Please, don’t. – His voice soft and his blue eyes now looking at Ashton’s hazel ones and even though he was demanding something, he had a confused expression on his face.

  
\- What?

  
\- Don’t go. Not yet.

  
\- B-but you said-

  
\- I know what I said… - Luke interrupted, his thumb caressing Ashton’s wrist, praying it would make him stay, at least for tonight. – But it’s raining and-, please just stay; you can go before my parents wake up in the morning.

  
The older one nodded, still a little apprehensive with Luke’s sudden change of idea. But if the blond is asking him to stay, he’s for sure not saying no.

  
\- Yeah, okay.

  
After that Luke silently pulled Ashton back to bed, he was a little confused with himself and to why he suddenly wanted Ashton to stay, but when the older one wrapped his arms around him, his chest on Luke’s bare back, he knew. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Ashton, to end their little thing no matter how bad it was making him feel. Luke was the first to sleep, or more like the only one who slept that night, maybe the Xanax finally had an effect or he was just tired of everything that happened. But Ashton on the other hand didn’t stop thinking. Thinking about Luke, his relationship, his life. Everything.

  
So as soon as the boy noticed the sunlight coming in through Luke's window, he very carefully, not to wake up the blond, left. Only lefting him a small note saying “Need time to think! Sorry.” but Ashton had already made his decision before he left the younger boy’s house.

  
-

  
It’s been 3 weeks since that day and Luke had not spoken to Ashton since, and the oldest had not tried to speak to him either. When Luke woke up that morning and Ashton was gone, he thought and hope that Ashton would end up choosing him, choosing what they could have.

But after 3 long weeks, the ones he gave the older all the space he needed, not even trying talking to him or send him texts to ask what the hell Ashton had decided or to call him names for again being a coward and not even bother to really finish his thing with Luke face to face, he realized that the boy had not chosen him. And he had been stupid to even think that he would come back because Luke saw Ashton with his girlfriend at school so it was pretty fucking obvious he didn’t break up with her.

  
It was a Saturday afternoon, Luke's family had traveled to see their grandparents - and after much insistence from Luke, his mother agreed on leaving him alone at home – so he was now in the living room watching a random episode of The Office, trying not to think about Ashton and his life as a whole, when the doorbell rang.

  
The blond groaned in frustration, getting up of the couch and adjusting the old black t-shirt he wore before going to the door, opening it.

  
\- Hi.

  
\- What? – Luke said after at least 15 seconds of just looking at the shorter boy in front of him, Ashton was the last person he expected to see right now.

  
\- I know, it’s been a long time. Much longer than what I planned. – The older boy said smiling at Luke.

  
And fuck, Ashton looked beautiful, his hair a little wet – showing that he had showered not too long ago -, he wore a dark blue long sleeve shirt and some black skinny jeans and it made Luke feel a little bad to be in only gray sweatpants and an old black tee, which had a big hole in the front by the way.

  
\- What do you mean? What are you doing here?

  
\- Can I talk to you? – Ashton answered, his pleading hazel eyes looking at the blond, and Luke had to fight not to melt in his gaze.

  
\- I don’t know Ashton.

  
\- Pease Luke, if after you heard what I have to say you decide not to speak to me anymore I’ll leave… - He was almost pouting now, and Luke almost gave in, but his mind remembered that this same boy had ignored him for 3 weeks straight; which he had almost forgotten after seeing the boy on his front door looking breathtaking.

\- You didn’t speak to me for the past 3 weeks you stupid son of a bitch, why should I listen to you now? – The blond’s voice harsh but low.

  
\- Because… Because I came for you. I came to tell you that I did everything you asked me and I haven’t giving you before.

  
\- You what? – Luke asked his brows furrowed in confusion, this couldn’t be what he was thinking. It’s been 3 fucking weeks without Ashton showing up any signal of choosing him.

  
\- Y-you what?

  
\- Can I come in? - The blond looked at him a little hesitantly before slowly nodding his head, opening space for Ashton to enter his living room before closing the door.

  
\- So... I missed you, Luke.

  
\- Cut the shit, Ashton.

  
The older one took a deep breath, hands on his pockets before speaking again.- Fine, don’t believe me, you have reasons, and I came here to tell you why I did what I did.

  
\- I am excited to hear why you are such an asshole – Luke spoke with fake enthusiasm walking towards his couch, sitting on it, Ashton following him. He sat next to Luke, but not too close because he knew Luke would say something and get out of the couch.

  
\- Luke, please…

  
\- Fine, explain yourself.

  
\- The minute I left your house 3 weeks ago, I already knew I wanted to be with you, I just needed time to think how I would do things right… - Ashton started, his eyes focusing on the blond boy next to him. He wasn’t looking at Ashton, his gaze on the frozen screen.

  
\- Couldn’t you just tell me this back then? – Luke asked, his head turning to Ashton for only a second.

  
\- No, because if things didn’t worked out I wouldn’t be able to face you.

  
\- Well you were pretty damn good able in ignoring me – The blond stated, a fake grin on his face, he threatened to get off the couch but one of Ashton's hands quickly grabbed his right thigh, making him stay in place.

  
\- I’m sorry Luke, it wasn’t easy for me but I had to, I didn’t wanna screw things up. – Ashton said, slowly taking his hands off Luke’s thigh and awkwardly caressing the back of his own neck with it showing he was uncomfortable with the energy between them. - Anyway I needed to think and gain courage to do everything I wanted to, to become who I really am.

  
\- Ashton, I-

  
\- Please, let me finish – He interrupted Luke softly, making the blond finally look at him in the eyes since he entered Luke’s house. - I know you saw me with her after that day that I was here, I needed to take her some place to talk, to tell her I couldn’t do that anymore, you know, to end things.

  
The blond nodded small, but didn’t say anything waiting for Ashton to say everything else.

  
\- Anyway, it doesn’t matter how it went, the important is that it’s over, and then I needed to do the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, accept myself, talk to my parents, and let’s say they didn’t take it very well at first, but I know it’s just a matter of time.

  
\- Ashton what the hell are you talking about?

  
\- Needed to come out Luke, wasn’t the right thing to do?

  
Luke licked his lips remembering what happened a week ago when he decided it was time for him to come out at least for his parents and best friend, okay, maybe Calum found him crying because of Ashton and Luke was so fucking tired of lying that he just collapsed, telling Calum every single thing since that day in the locker room – and maybe, the brunette offered to kick Ashton’s ass for it, but in the end he hugged Luke and told him he loved him no matter what, and so did his parents when he just let out the words "guys, I'm gay" in the middle of the dinner table making Ben and Jack laugh, Andrew to choke on his food at his son’s words.

  
Of course they all knew, but they didn’t think this was how Luke would tell them.

  
He then turned his attention to the boy beside him, who was looking at him uneasily. - Wait- you did? Ashton...

  
\- Luke, I told you I loved you, I want to be with you for good. – Ashton said, one of his hands capturing Luke’s. His thumb caressing the palm of the blond’s hand. - I know I’ve been half a man for you all this time, I was a coward, but I wasn’t lying when I told you I loved you.

  
Luke gulped, looking Ashton’s thumb draw an invisible circle on his skin. - I don’t know what to say…

  
\- Say yes. Say you want to be with me. For real now.

  
Luke did not know what to do, he wanted Ashton to choose him so much but now that the boy was in front of him asking Luke to be with him, insecurity and fear took over the blond. But more than that, Luke was hurt.

  
\- Ashton... Fuck you- you fucking ignored me for weeks, what the fuck am I supposed to do now? Act like nothing happened? Like it didn’t hurt me?

  
\- No, you don’t... I am sorry ok? But I mean it-

  
\- I know you fucking mean it, you mean it every time Ashton, and you always let me down, fuck. – The blond said, hands fisting his hair in frustration.

  
The curly haired slowly nodded his head. - Alright, I’ll leave, I am sorry…

  
This time it was Luke who stopped Ashton’s movements holding him by the wrist making him fall back in the couch.

  
\- No, don’t. I am mad at you and hurt but- fuck it.

  
And before he knew, he was kissing Ashton, harshly, hands going all the way to the older boy’s neck bringing him close. He missed this; he missed the way their lips felt against each other and the way one of Ashton’s hands grabbed his shirt, both of their chests meeting at the same time that Luke’s tongued invaded Ashton’s mouth.  
They kissed until both of them ran out of breath, their lips making a sloppy sound when disconnecting. Their foreheads pressed together.

  
Ashton smiled, opening his eyes to see baby blue ones staring straight at him – Is that a yes?

  
\- I can’t believe I am saying this but- yes. – The blond answered, biting his lip.

  
The older pulled him for another kiss, before saying:

  
\- You won’t regret Luke, I promise.

  
\- You better not break my heart, Ashton.

  
\- I love you. – Ashton said, thumb caressing the boy’s jawline. And fuck, he really meant it. More than any other time, **_because this time he was free to really love Luke in the same way the boy in front of him loved him_**.

  
\- I love you too, Ash.


End file.
